How many times have you said… “Are you listening to me?” What has been the reply? “What?” Do you get exasperated? Do you get angry? Do you get… “Oh Heck”? Do you get “What’s the use no one is listening to me?” Now you are getting somewhere. Perhaps at your age at the time you do not even know what you are saying.
Consider the times as a child, you said something that you thought was amazing and profound. Or you asked a question that you thought was so viable. Yet those you are speaking to looked at you like…”What?” Or ignored you. Or said…”Where did you get that idea?” Oh yes, and many times the “adult” reply mystified you to your core? You were ignored, “told” what are you talking about, what is going on in that head of yours, etc, etc, etc?
This is by no means judging the “adults” around you at any given age of yours or theirs, they are not paying attention to your questions, comments, or idea? Are they wrong? Not necessarily. They may be conveniently deaf, with no judgment. They have forgotten or are filtering your questions or comments through what they have been programmed through in the Duality “adult’ programming. Adults know more, are supposed to know more and they are not to be questioned. OMG Especially by “kids”. Heresy!
The challenge for everyone, adults included where they are stuck emotionally in the womb, in childhood, teenage or young adult years, when the protocol, yes Duality’s protocol, is to NOT LISTEN! Listening to an art! Really!!! Everyone is taught to “hear”! What does hearing do? Hearing is through the Duality trained left computer brain to “filter”! Yes, filter. Filter through each person’s past, their past experiences, their past learning and education, and their past trauma dramas, whether these areas are conscious or not. The left computer brain filters the conversations and more times than not “re-acts”, act one scene one, act a million scene a million, you get the point.
The filtering is about preservation and having to be the “adult’ expert. Again this is not judgment. Everyone is taught this way. The older the wiser, the younger not so much. This is not necessarily the truth. It is, of course True. Yet again not necessarily the Truth. Age is not always a gauge of applied intelligence or smarts gained through experiences. Many times, no judgment, past experiences are very traumatic and cannot always be explained by the person being traumatized.
When the trauma is created by the adult, authority figure, and the parent, the child cannot rationalize what is happening. This is a major reason when individuals get “stuck” in the past. The brain holds onto the trauma drama called Cellular Memorization that overrides the intelligence or clear Cellular Memory in the body. Why? To Survive!
In this process of surviving, the individual stays in that resonance in the left computer brain especially in this past experience when no one is “listening”. Thus the skill of listening is overridden by the process of healing through the filters in the left computer brain based upon these Duality experiences. Self-judgment begins in that moment of the trauma and is amplified by any continuing traumatic events. What is the use of explaining my Self, that no one listens? So the self-protection of hearing begins. It is so much easier to hear than to listen. Hearing advice (adding vice) is easy. The conversation would be to tell the person who is sharing or attempting to share what to do, what not to do, and what is wrong in the situation the person is sharing. Sound familiar? Hearing is so disconnected. “Look” at this statement, I see or hear what you are saying! Yet underlying this statement is “What is wrong with you?” This statement is coming from the person who is hearing instead of listening, coming from their past experiences when perhaps they experienced something similar. Just consider this!
This is why advice is adding vice to someone. I do not give advice. When “listening” to someone, the person on the side of listening is not allowing their past experiences or past traumas to enter into the conversation. There is a deep connection from the heart. There is safety, compassion, and a connection with the person explaining the situation.
This is a much more productive conversation that will assist both individuals to “feel” and not get caught up in all the emotionality. The emotionality are triggers by both individual’s pasts, the person sharing and the person who either emotionally hears or who is NEO Non Emotional Observer and “listen”! There is a huge difference.
The difference becomes the quality of the conversation, the quality of the connection between the individuals involved in the conversation, and the quality of the results of the conversation. Listening is a skill. Listening is a gift for everyone involved. The gift is the heart connection. No Woo Woo! The gift is Trust. Trust that develops that someone is listening. Someone cares enough to not try and “fix” the problem. The Trust is the resonance that supports and promotes, yes promotes, a resolution or resolutions. There can never be a solution without a resolution! This is so important!!!!
Perhaps in the first listening conversation, a resolution does not yet happen, yet this listening resolution can be the foundation of Trust building, knowing someone cares enough to listen and that a resolution for a solution can be achieved. The person who does the listening without the fixing benefits to the max as well as the person who has waited for so long for someone to listen to her or him!
Listening creates a bond of trust from the inside out for both individuals involved. Listening is the purest of conversations that support. Listen, Listen, Listen. Sometimes listening is just that! An emotional opinion, an emotional fix, an emotional answer, or an emotional repair doesn’t have to occur. Sometimes just listening is the perfect catalyst for the situation. By the way, listen to your Self. Stop hearing your left computer brain, which loves to make you bad and wrong! Listen!!!
LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN IS THE CONNECTION OF THE NON-JUDGMENT HEART!
|“The heart of the matter is what matters to the heart!”
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