What do divorce and disease have in common? Lots of stuff! Starting with what is stuffed inside of you. With the statistics reaching 65% for divorces in this country, perhaps it would be better to make it very difficult to get married and in contrast make it very easy to get divorced. Maybe it is time to look at the overall picture of what marriage is and what it isn’t.

With the “in sickness and in health till death do us part forever and ever”, what about changing these words to “in health and wellness let’s live our lives productively and connected together. As Stephen Covey coined the word… “inter-independence”. This makes so much more sense then the wanty-needy dependent – co-dependent relationships which the fairy tale nightmare promotes.

First you have to depend upon your Self. Two wanty-needy people in a relationship called marriage doesn’t serve anyone in the union. The wanty-needy behavior is very dysfunction and relies on the Blame Game to keep the dysfunction behavior going. This also promotes the “stories” that the individuals in the relationship tell over and over again to their friends, families and even strangers.

The person or persons telling the story are not supporting the relationship but further sabotaging the relationship. The more the stories are repeated sometimes the more embellished they become. The outside relationships, family, friends, associates have to take sides. The war escalates. The “War of the Roses” is on. Take no prisoners. Forget about the children.

The emotional sickness to all of this turmoil results in physical sickness. The children, who are usually the pawns, have to stuff their feelings. Usually the “adults” in the situation pretend they are not affected or just accept they are the “take no prisoners” victims of the aftermath. Oh well, they will get over it… mentally! No they do not get over it, they just become the next generation of the sickness of divorce. This is the family way. Grow up, get married, live miserably ever after until the divorce.

The more difficult the emotional attachments in the war of divorce, the deeper the physical bodies of those involved get sick. Depression, anxiety, addiction, although can happen in the marriage, these conditions intensify during the divorce. Yes, divorce can make you sick. It does not have to be this way. There is a healthy, productive way to get through the divorce process for everyone involved.

The giant step is to become the Non-Emotional Observer (NEO). Begin to stick to the facts without righting or wronging the other person, especially when children are involved. Don’t make the children take sides. No matter what happens the children at their deepest core level still love both parents. However, many children of caustic divorces would prefer the parents “get it over with” so they can have some sort of peace. They are always caught in the cross fires. Look at it from their view point and you will see their view does not look very good.

You don’t have to get sick. You don’t have to make your child or children sick. Most of all the divorce does not have to be the factor that makes you sick. From a more aware view point, you will understand that the contractual agreement for all persons involved, including the children, is done. The contract is over.

By staying the Non-Emotional Observer (NEO) you can allow your Self to learn from the experience, even appreciate all that you have learned about your Self, appreciate the situation and at last move forward to a new life. Don’t let divorce make you sick or cause disease in your body. Don’t waste your time reliving the past. Focus your life on now and the future. If you have a child or children, this will make the difference in their health and well being.