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A Christmas Gift

Dearest Father,

I was only five years old when you died on Christmas morning, yet I know now that you understood how the future events that your transitioning would enfold for everyone.  Your wife, my mother, and my three teenage siblings were devastated.  How on the most sacred of holidays could anyone comprehend how this tragedy could be happening to us.  Although I was too young to understand all the details at the time, I knew that our world had come to end as we knew it.  Nothing would ever be the same.  You dear father had been the support, the strength, and the guidance for everyone in our family, including my mother.  You were the love of her life. 

For me, I had the best of all worlds, as I knew it.  Since I was so much younger than my siblings, everyone spoiled me just like you did.  I adored my brothers and sister.  I wanted to be just like them. I could not know at the time how frightening it was for them without you, especially for my mother, left behind with three teenagers and a five-year-old. 

 As I reflect back now on your transition, I am amazed at the strength and courage it took for my mother, my brothers, and my sister to overcome their individual fears about what would happen to us.  In spite of the shock, their grief, and their fears of the future, together they united to have a Christmas holiday in the best way they could.  They did it for each other and for me.  And for some reason I knew, dear father, you did for us too.  I know absolutely now that you were complete with your life at that time and you had chosen to transition. You knew our contracts with you were complete in this lifetime. You knew all of our lives were unfolding on our journeys.  To make way for us, you let us go. That was the most incredible Christmas gift to us.

Because somewhere along the way, we have all come to realize that out of this tragedy and the loss of you to each of us, that many births and rebirths occurred throughout all of these years for our family.  And because my dearest father that you transitioned when you did, we didn’t move away to the home that you and mother had planned.  And because of that my sister met and married her soul mate. As you watched, dear father, you know she was married for over fifty years, and together they had their five children and grandchildren.  I know you watched my brothers marry, have children and journey through their lives in their own unique ways.  

My own life has been quite remarkable. I really did it my way.  I am grateful for every person who came into my life and for every experience, whether I liked it at the time or not. There has been nothing in my life that I have not gotten to do that I wanted to do. I have gotten to do whatever it is that I chose to do.  I have no regrets, just wonderful memories.  Even my two near-death experiences happened for my benefit and for my spiritual growth.  During both experiences, I felt your presence.  I know you have always been with me at those crucial times.  I know you really never really left me or any of us. 

When my mother eventually remarried and had another child with my stepfather, it was a divine contract for the three of them.   He was the best “step” parent.  He raised me through my teenage years. Sometimes I look back and wonder how he managed, but he did.  I was definitely blessed for having him into my life.  

So, for all the should of’s, could of’s, or would of’s that may have happened, we all know that everything, and everyone who came into our lives after your transition was in perfect Divine Order.  We still continue to learn about ourselves and each other, even when we won’t admit it.  It is just part of the earth’s journey.

How divine of you, my dear father to choose Christmas Day, the day that represents the birth of the Christed Consciousness.  I know in my heart it was your ascension into your Christ Consciousness as you continued your journey.  I honor you for choosing what this day represents.  What a great gift.  I get it.   Because you chose the metaphor of this day to transition, I thank you for what you are teaching me that the idea of death is really a time continuum of birthing and rebirthing each and every day.  And by living through the Christed Consciousness, that is within each of us, every day, and by celebrating our aliveness each and every day, we can choose to live our lives fully and to receive life as a blessing and not as a tragedy.  Because of you my dearest father, you made your perfect choice to transition when you did.  Your transition was never meant as an ending.  You gave new beginnings so we could fulfill our own contracts with all of those individuals who came into our lives.  We all began a new life each day.  

Throughout the years I have always had a small Christmas tree, no matter what the season. For me, it represents the Tree of Life.  My dearest father, you are part of our tree, from you we branched out, grew, went our separate ways created our lives in our unique ways, and yet we are all still connected to you and to each other.    

Christmas is a wonderful time of the year to reflect, to see where we have been, what we have learned from each other, where we are now, and through our Christed Consciousness, where we can grow individually and together into the future that we create each and every day.   

This is the perfect time to make a commitment to love yourself and your life unconditionally.  This is a perfect time to see the blessings and gifts in your life and bless others by sharing your life and your gifts with them.  As you allow yourself to see through your Christed Consciousness every day without fear and judgment, you can see how truly Divine your life and the Universe are.  

Thank you dearest father for giving me, that part of my life that comes from you.

I know we have been together before and we will be together again.  And so you are a part of me as I am of you.

Your Loving Daughter, Sherry

Though I wrote this letter to my Father so many years ago, this Christmas 2021, I acknowledge the transitions (everyone calls this death) of my youngest older brother, 9 years older, and my sister, 12 years older than me. Each in their own unique ways nurtured me as a child.  My brother mentored me and my sister was a second mother to me.  As a little girl my sister once told me, long before I was even thought of, she always wanted to have six children, she birthed five and had a miscarriage.  So it would seem that I was her “first” non-biological child.  They both were amazing older siblings.  Both had very full lives!  They are now on their own journeys.  I recognize and honor their lives!  In gratitude, gratefulness, and thankfulness I am very blessed to know them, and in our time continuum, I still do!

“It is not the length of time spent with a father, it is the time well spent together that counts.”
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